Within my line of work, exposure to, as well as the occasional use of, incongruent messages comes with the territory. Somewhat more often when I first came into my job, I'd have to try and explain a technical issue or procedure to a member of our client unit, and they would often want very specific timelines, details, or some kind of guarantee. Of course, computers can be very fickle and there's something of an unofficial rule that we never use definite words like "will," but rather say "that particular box should be working fine," or "we should be done on time." We consciously used that particular verbal modifier as a layer of protection in case things didn't go as planned, as our Type-A clients at the time tended to see technical issues as a foul on us.
Beyond that, I can say I still have a lot of work to do with keep my paralanguage in check. Although my actions in doggedly chasing down issues was enough to build credibility, I can think of a few occasions where I didn't have the best of articulation, resonance, or volume when I was trying to work my way through a brief or rundown of an issue, and thus didn't come off as highly confident in the information. This, of course, resulted in some incongruence being sent my way in the form of a more senior officer from our client unit stepping in closer from the "social" to the "personal" space, perhaps exercising some hidden agenda styles such as "I'm good (but you're not)" or "I know it all" with regards to having a handle on the overarching situation. In those cases, if for whatever reason things kept going downhill I quickly found myself feeling rather ineffective in articulating on behalf of my unit, while also feeling both under the gun to maintain a good image for comm support and quell our customers from doing anything to make the situation worse.
Not too long ago, I dealt with some incongruence at the base personnel section that yielded me some lost time and increased frustration. As part of an application for training, I had to get some paperwork drafted of which I only had a sample from the instructions. I went to the personnel desk asking to get the right form, and a very young Airman answered my query. I recall he spoke somewhat softly with some hesitance, and kept his arms close towards his body. I didn't think much of it at the time and took his word, as I've found some of the younger troops can get like that working with officers like I've done with senior officers. He did also add he hadn't worked with that particular set of forms, and sent me to another section that dealt with other records issues. After another 15 minute wait there, that office sent me back to the personnel section, where the same Airman and two other younger guys deliberated on how to handle that form. One of them came back with the same sheet and said I simply needed to sign. I pointed out it was a sample, at which point they brought out an NCO...this is when they finally told me I simply needed to draft the form myself and bring it to them. I was glad to get an answer, but the fact it took about an hour of running around to get it was something of a nuisance.
So, for the incongruence coming from myself, the solution starts first with recognizing the issues. Knowing that I have issues with volume control and articulation, which impacts perceptions of confidence. The "Messages" text has very helpfully provided some exercises in volume modulation as well as articulation, and execution of these exercises as well as a continued conscious effort to practice and reassess my paralanguage in conjunction with my body language could very well do me a great deal of good in exuding greater confidence and thus aid credibility. Additionally, having this greater recognition of metamessages, paralanguage, and hidden agendas will allow me to make a change in identifying when such communication is occurring. This will subsequently allow me to ask the necessary follow up questions to get further clarity, or at least give me further insight into how to "read" the overall interaction.
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